My son was diagnosed with ADHD.
How many times have you read that? Many I suppose. It’s not like it is some new age diagnosis that has been over diagnosed by pediatricians that have no idea what they are really talking about since it is a brain thing – and not a body thing – or is it both?
The point is that yes, many kids have it.
It’s not a death sentence. Its not something that can be cured. It’s not something that needs to be worn on the sleeve if his shirt to let everyone know that hey, he may be a little different. It’s not an excuse for bad behaviour. It’s not an excuse for any behaviour at all.
It’s the way he thinks. It’s in his DNA. In his brain chemistry. And yes, some if the behaviours that are symptoms can be hard to deal with for me. But they are also hard for him. He doesn’t think like me. He doesn’t understand some social cues. He doesn’t understand personal space. He doesn’t understand why his playing really loudly can sometimes cause adults to be irritated – he doesn’t realize that he is doing it. And he isn’t doing it on purpose.
I can tell him a million times that he needs to “be quiet” or that he must “calm down” or “stop moving” but that isn’t going to make him stop. It will just make me more frustrated. It will also hurt his self esteem. But I will still do it. I am only human.
|Loves to Learn!|
The worst part about ADHD is that these kids are smart. Not just book smart, but smart beyond their years. They are creative, and think outside the box. They are leaders, forward thinkers and trail blazers. They take risks. (this may be because they lack the executive functioning not to think about risk, before they take them… But this is beside the point.)
The reason why this is bad is because you, the parent, the teacher, the adult can forget so quickly that these children are different and your expectations of them will be off. You will expect more of them than needs to be expected – and that isn’t fair to him and it certainly isn’t fair to you.
But life isn’t fair.
The best thing I can do is educate myself and continue to ask questions. Try to view the world from his eyes. Try to remind myself daily that he isn’t like his brothers and to stop comparing them. To see them as individuals with different strengths and weaknesses – not better nor different – but unique to them.
It has taken me a long time to write this post. We knew that he was a challenge when he was younger and had flags go up as he progressed in school. Why such a bright kid was having so many problems, we knew it was coming. I didn’t want to know – and even now am wary of the diagnosis as it is a label..and who really wants the label good or bad or indifferent?
But I need to own it. To be an advocate for him and for our whole family. To learn and share my knowledge to other families going through the same thing but maybe not as vocal as me.. (who is) who maybe don’t have the same background as me and maybe don’t know what questions to ask.
I struggled when they gave me the 12 page report that outlined all the tests and issues and suggestions and considerations about my son. But you know what? Its just a piece of paper. He is who he is for a reason. It is my job as his mom to give him the tools to be the best that he can be just by being himself.
|I love this boy!!|